Why Not to Judge the Annoying Men on The Street

If you read the title of this blog, part of it says, "..the Annoying Men on the Street". And I mean literally annoying.

I don't know if you've ever met this breed of Annoying Men. You are driving and you stop at a red traffic light. As you patiently wait for the lights to turn green, suddenly, from out of nowhere, a man normally slightly dishevelled and scary looking, pops up next to your car, and with a flourish of his hand, throws some slightly soapy looking water on your car's front window shield.

Before you can say "Noo!" he is already midway cleaning your window with the wind shield cleaning tool in his other hand (and even if you say No he will ignore you). With a few deft strokes, he is finished and then stands next to your car window, waiting expectantly for some money.

All this happens in less than 5 seconds.

Not only have you received a slight scare but now you struggle with feelings of guilt of whether to hand over some spare change for his service (that you never wanted and never asked for) or end up feeling like Mr Scrooge. I hate these people. I truly do.

That is until this morning.

I was waiting for a friend in the car and she was running late. Straight ahead, I noticed an Annoying Man at a busy traffic light intersection. He was equipped with the usual tools, a small clear bottle of soapy water and a window cleaning tool in his other hand. As usual, he looked slightly dishevelled and scary looking. I continued to stare from the side of the street.

When the first car arrived at the intersection and stopped for the lights, he was out there, cleaning the car's window shield. He finished and he stopped for a moment at the car driver's window and luckily for him, received some payment. The lights turned green and he quickly returned to the curb, out of harm's way. I felt the familiar churn in my stomach.

The lights turned red again and more cars stopped at the intersection. As on schedule, Annoying Man dashed out to the cars and cleaned more window shields. But this time, the drivers stood their ground and refused to give him anything. I felt slightly relieved that I was not the only Mr Scrooge in the world.

This happened another time when the lights turned red again. I was about to turn my attention away when out of the corner of my eye, as Annoying Man returned to the curb, I noticed him rubbing his right cleaning upper arm several times hard, like it hurt.

For the first time, it suddenly struck me that Annoying Man was tired, probably hated this "job" but he was doing it because he really needed the money.

And suddenly, I saw other things...how some cars hooted at him to get out of their way when the lights turned green, how he often didn't receive any payment. How he endangered his life (and to be honest, the life of others) by standing out on the street in traffic. How some drivers heartlessly drove away after he had put in some extra work cleaning bird poo on their window shields.

Life was tough for Annoying Man. True, I am pretty sure he does not pay any taxes from this "job" but at least he was working, wasn't he? And drivers with thoroughly dirty window shields were benefitting from this.

After a while, someone from a car offered Annoying Man a cigarette in return for his service and he took a break off to smoke it.

Watching Annoying Man at work taught me a few things...you never really know how tough it is for someone until you walk in their shoes. And we never can assume why people do the things they do until they share that with us.

I won't struggle so much about being Mr Scrooge now. I think I'll just hand over some money.

"Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen...to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter- when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?" Isaiah 58:6-7.

Friendship Forever...

One of the greatest treasures in my life are my friendships.

Occasionally I meet with a kindred spirit and we immediately form a close bond of friendship. But most of my friendships go back a long way.

Friendships are living relationships. They don't remain static or the same all the time.

What's amazing about great friendships are that you know you can depend on them and that they will always be there for you when you truly need them, despite the passing of time and the changes of circumstance.

I have found that with some of my long time friendships, although we have moved into different worlds (I'm living in a different country and only get to see them once a year at the most)...when we hang out, it's like we can pick up the friendship from where we last left off.

I have made these observations about lasting friendships that transcend time and place:

1. Enjoying each other's presence

Be it sharing our deep, intimate joys and fears with each other or just having a crazy time of fun, one of the main reasons that my friendships have remained strong is because we truly do enjoy each other. With some friends, when we get together, we laugh so loud that we occasionally get stares from others. With other friends, they are my "sounding-board" and when I'm with them, I always get new revelations and comfort for my soul.

2. Having fair and reasonable expectations of the friendship

Be fair to your friends. Unreasonable expectations hurt friendships. If a bridge is only able to bear the weight of a 10 tonne truck, don't put a 20 tonne truck on it. Likewise, if a friendship has not matured to the extent that you can ask for huge sacrifices without creating resentment, don't make such demands. However, I also believe that a friendship can be stuck at a superficial level for far too long if either party is too embarrassed (or proud) to ask for help. It's great to ask for help (even if you're not sure if your friend will say yes) but don't be offended if the person says No. Knowing that you can depend on your friend is a sure sign that trust has been built in the friendship.

3. Being flexible when changes occur in the friendship over time and circumstance

As mentioned before,a friendship is a living relationship. It will have to adapt and change over time and circumstance in order to survive. Be prepared and open to change, even if it means having to let the person go if their commitments in life change. If friends deal with change well, this will only serve to strengthen the friendship.

4. Forgiving easily and fully

Friends, like the rest of the human species, are fallible. Unforgiveness is a poison that you drink to your own detriment. When we feel wronged by someone, we sometimes forget that we have often wronged others (consciously or unsconsciously). I read a wonderful quote once from a 5 year old boy and this has changed my perspective on love. We seem to always be afraid that the person we love will find out something bad about us and leave us. Love is when they inevitably do, not only do they forgive you, but they love you more.

5. Being there for each other

Strong friendships have strong significant moments in them. For example, when your cat died and your friend stayed with you while you cried through your box of Kleenex. When your boyfriend cheated on you and your friend supported you through your healing. It's amazing how one incident alone of kindness and support can create a lifelong bond of friendship.

The Bible has a teaching on how to love others and I think it is really excellent~

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth (friends tell you the truth). It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8