"It's not about finding the perfect person but being the perfect person..."
Too many of us spend our lives looking for THE perfect person. We sometimes think we have found the perfect person for us and when we get closer, we discover the person's weaknesses (or humanity) and we think that we made a mistake. Unhappy married people think this too.
But in reality, there is no such thing as a perfect person just for you. Yes, there are some people who are more compatible for us but humans are evolving beings...we can change according to our environment, our choices, what we spend time doing etc.
I once heard this from a relationship psychologist. Love is made up of 3 elements;
* Passion
* Intimacy
* Commitment.
When we fall in love, the passion element is fulfilled. When we start sharing our lives with the other person, we start creating intimacy. But the final essence of love; commitment, is normally where failed couples are unable to overcome.
Commitment.
To be able to commit to someone for the rest of your life, you have to reach a stage of self-awareness and maturity that enables you to be able to stay faithful and connected to the other person...through hell (as it may be), not just when it feels like heaven.
The good news is that staying committed to someone can be made so much easier if we have developed relationship-building skills. And even more encouraging is that these skills can be learnt. Skills such as communication, negotiation, compromise and sacrifice.
Listen to the words of a wise person "Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, beautiful old people are works of art."
Two old people in a loving, beautiful, caring relationship is truly a work of art. A beautiful work of art such as the Statue of David by Michelangelo cannot be created in a short amount of time, it requires many hours of chipping away at sharp edges, polishing dull surfaces and careful attention of work.
Too many of us are rushing into and out of relationships, trying to find the perfect person. If you have someone's love and hallelujah, you actually love the person back...appreciate your blessing. It's true what they say, "good things take time".
Agreed. Too many people are looking for the solution outside of themselves. Instead of developing and growing to be the best they can be, they are hoping for that the other people can change. I have a relationship blog for singles where I talk about this. It's just things I've found helpful in relationships. If you want to have a look, go on to http://honeywhereareyou.wordpress.com/
ReplyDeleteI also think it's a lie that alot off ppl buy into:
ReplyDeleteonce the r/ship gets into say yr 10, we think it's normal that relationship just breaks down, boring, uneventful
So true Choon Lean...
ReplyDeleteYit, I'll go check your blog out. I like the name of it...very 'sweet'.
I agree that an element of a relationship is commitment, as well as passion and intimacy. However, I believe that commitment gets stronger when both persons share the same life purpose. In order to get that, firstly, both persons should clarify it and make a personal commitment to "run after that". That is an act of maturity, as act of being responsible with yourself.
ReplyDeleteHow do I can find my life purpose?
We should ask three questions:
a. Who is God for me?
b. Who do I am?
c. What is my part in God´s plans?
The life´s purpose is finding in a close relationship with God, and he is deeply willing to show us, since he wants to find out our part in his will.
Instead of wondering: "God, what is your will in my life?" we should ask: "God what is my part in your will ". Life has a long duration; we will live just 80 to 90 years all, life does not start with us... God had already a plan before we born, hence we should "find out what is my part in His will".
If both persons have cleared their personal life purpose, it will be easier to make a commitment for life, since it is sure that both people will change (based on their future experiences, knowledge, relationships, etc). However, people that share a related and complement purpose will keep together. Their union will not be based ONLY in their personal appearance, feelings, personality, empathy, etc (things that will change), but in their mutual purpose. That purpose will causes a long romance and intimacy.
God wants to show us our specific purpose in life, however many times we are so distracted that we cannot hear his voice. Listen, leave things, do less, stay quiet… pray, write and share with persons who you love and know you… his voice will be clearer, and you will find that his purpose for you will bless and help people, as God´s purpose used to be.
Here my blog too, http://blog.pucp.edu.pe/carlostirado
Blessings,
Carlos