Friendship Forever...

One of the greatest treasures in my life are my friendships.

Occasionally I meet with a kindred spirit and we immediately form a close bond of friendship. But most of my friendships go back a long way.

Friendships are living relationships. They don't remain static or the same all the time.

What's amazing about great friendships are that you know you can depend on them and that they will always be there for you when you truly need them, despite the passing of time and the changes of circumstance.

I have found that with some of my long time friendships, although we have moved into different worlds (I'm living in a different country and only get to see them once a year at the most)...when we hang out, it's like we can pick up the friendship from where we last left off.

I have made these observations about lasting friendships that transcend time and place:

1. Enjoying each other's presence

Be it sharing our deep, intimate joys and fears with each other or just having a crazy time of fun, one of the main reasons that my friendships have remained strong is because we truly do enjoy each other. With some friends, when we get together, we laugh so loud that we occasionally get stares from others. With other friends, they are my "sounding-board" and when I'm with them, I always get new revelations and comfort for my soul.

2. Having fair and reasonable expectations of the friendship

Be fair to your friends. Unreasonable expectations hurt friendships. If a bridge is only able to bear the weight of a 10 tonne truck, don't put a 20 tonne truck on it. Likewise, if a friendship has not matured to the extent that you can ask for huge sacrifices without creating resentment, don't make such demands. However, I also believe that a friendship can be stuck at a superficial level for far too long if either party is too embarrassed (or proud) to ask for help. It's great to ask for help (even if you're not sure if your friend will say yes) but don't be offended if the person says No. Knowing that you can depend on your friend is a sure sign that trust has been built in the friendship.

3. Being flexible when changes occur in the friendship over time and circumstance

As mentioned before,a friendship is a living relationship. It will have to adapt and change over time and circumstance in order to survive. Be prepared and open to change, even if it means having to let the person go if their commitments in life change. If friends deal with change well, this will only serve to strengthen the friendship.

4. Forgiving easily and fully

Friends, like the rest of the human species, are fallible. Unforgiveness is a poison that you drink to your own detriment. When we feel wronged by someone, we sometimes forget that we have often wronged others (consciously or unsconsciously). I read a wonderful quote once from a 5 year old boy and this has changed my perspective on love. We seem to always be afraid that the person we love will find out something bad about us and leave us. Love is when they inevitably do, not only do they forgive you, but they love you more.

5. Being there for each other

Strong friendships have strong significant moments in them. For example, when your cat died and your friend stayed with you while you cried through your box of Kleenex. When your boyfriend cheated on you and your friend supported you through your healing. It's amazing how one incident alone of kindness and support can create a lifelong bond of friendship.

The Bible has a teaching on how to love others and I think it is really excellent~

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth (friends tell you the truth). It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8