I heard a radio programme, Focus on the Family, where they were discussing the needs of men and women in relationships. I always find such information fascinating because let's admit it, who doesn't want to be a better wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend/person? So I thought I'd share it with you and add in my own personal experiences.
Top 3 Needs of a Man from his Woman:
1. Need to be the hero in his woman's life.
Every boy's dream is to be the knight in shining armour, the superman who saves the day, the hero who wins the heart of his beautiful princess. In daily life, men often feel discouraged, unsure or belittled by life's pressures, expectations and people's negative feedback. Because the woman is the most important person in a man's life, the woman plays the most important part in helping him regain his sense of who he is. Women often underestimate their power in their man's life. So if you want your man to be the hero in your life, treat and speak to him like he already is. Respect him because he needs your respect to be the man that you want him to be.
2. Need to have his woman be his greatest team mate (ie. supporter, cheerleader etc).
Every man has his own God-given battle to fight. Whether it be creating the world's finest artistic masterpiece or being the best man he can be as a husband and father. Men often look firstly (and naturally) to their women as their team mate and they desire their woman's support and trust in them to win their individual God-given battle.
3. Need to be desired by his woman and have sexual fulfillment.
Need I say more? Well, actually maybe I should. For women, they create emotional intimacy with their men through intimate sharing and talking. For men, who are generally not talkers, sex is a way of creating emotional intimacy with their woman. (However, where a man does not truly love a woman, sex can be just a vehicle of fulfilling his sexual needs and his heart can be totally isolated from the physical act. So how do you know if he truly loves you? If he's committed to you in marriage, you can be sure that he loves you and is in for the long term. In my opinion, sex is such a powerfully emotionally bonding act that it's meant for an equally powerful commitment in marriage).
Top 2 Needs of a Woman from her Man:
1. Need to feel pursued/cherished/special/desired by her man.
Just like every man's dream is to be a superhero, every woman's dream is to be the beautiful princess. And the top person she wants to get this from is her man. Every woman wants to feel pursued and desired by her man because it indicates that she is worth a lot for him to put all that effort in. Although a woman knows she may not be the most beautiful woman in the world, it's enough if she is the most beautiful woman to her man because then, she is special to an important person in her life.
2. Need to feel protected.
Women in developed countries nowadays have nearly equal opportunities to men to education, work and training. Because of this, women now are as intelligent, capable and independent as their male peers. And they want to be respected as such. However, when it comes to a relationship, women still want to feel protected by their men. Protection can come in the form of physical protection, financial provision, emotional support and spiritual leadership.
My own personal thoughts (through others and my own experience):
Additional Need of a Man from his Woman:
Need to have his Woman happy while she is with him.
I am surprised that it's taken me so long to get this. Men are simple creatures when compared to women (really). Happy woman = happy man. So if she is unhappy in the relationship, he is unhappy too because he somehow feels like he is incapable of making her happy. So women, learn to be happy in your relationship with your man. He needs to know that he brings you happiness in the relationship.
Additional Need of a Woman from her Man:
Need to be continually regarded as beautiful, attractive, adored by her Man and for him to remain faithful.
We all know that we tend to take things for granted after a while. A beautiful view of the mountains will seem common after you have looked at the same view for the 99th time. It's understandable that over time, a man may find his woman not as captivating like when he first saw her. And if she catches him staring at other women (even if he doesn't intend to leave her), she starts feeling even less attractive and insecure. If a woman perceives that her man somehow no longer finds her as attractive, she may start losing faith in his love and believe that there is not much point trying to make herself attractive to her man anymore. She may start focussing on the kids or on other things and less on herself and him. And she does indeed becomes less attractive in reality. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. So men, adore her and tell her how beautiful she is and she is more likely to believe it, take care of herself and want to make you happy.
Let me know what you all think.